Eyes Now Opened

As this year continues to unfold, it becomes quite clear that I chose a heck of a time to start a blog. It would be easy to write something happy or nothing at all to counteract all of the sadness in the world, but that seems to be the point.

About a month ago I started reading the novel, 'The Casual Vacancy' by J.K. Rowling. I originally chose it because of the title, thinking that the world is a little vacant because of COVID with the world being closed, that it would be an appropriate read, but the raw, vividly descriptive book was a hard novel to digest.

I warn everyone that this book is not for the faint of heart.

First, I want you to understand the lengths that I went through to read this book. When I first started it, I thought since it was by Rowling, that there would be some kind of whimsy, maybe some magic involved and it warped my way of thinking as I tried to read through this book. After being twenty-five pages in for about a week, I decided that I needed to change my point of view. The rest of the time as I ventured through this novel, I had a post-it note covering J.K. Rowling's name. And I know for all of the die-hard Harry Potter fans reading this are now thinking 'blasphemy', but as soon as I did that, I flew through the rest of the novel.

Now let me dig into the story a tiny bit. 'The Casual Vacancy' is a multi-perspective novel where there are two sides to a small-town council issue and how a family is caught in the middle and the issue causes a fatal accident. During this council issue, people are either ignorant or just don't care enough to do something about it. They are worried about tax dollars and that the overall success of the issue is too limited for it to continue the work. And the people who do care, their voices are drowned out because of a few mistakes that are made, and their position of authority is quickly compromised.

Quickly, after I finished the book, it because clear that this didn't parallel COVID but it did parallel the Black Lives Matter Movement. However, before I talk about this, I want to clarify that I am white and I will never understand, but I want to know how I can help. I know now that my silence isn't an option and that wasn't me trying to ignore the issue, that was me previously listening to the cries of the movement although my eyes closed, now I'm listening with my ears and seeing with my eyes wide open to the explicit and unfiltered pain that is throbbing in my country and also worldwide.

When I watched the video of George Floyd's death, I felt physically sick, and I can say without hesitation that during this last month or so with everything happening simultaneously, that I have never been so depressed either. I understand the pain, the rage, the want for change to happen NOW, but I am concerned.

I am concerned for the black men, women, and children who are being targeted. I cannot possibly imagine the heartache or the scrutiny that they go through every day.

I am concerned for the good police officers who are being lumped into the issue and they now have to live with that stigma. Plus, now is a crucial time for them to show true restraint while continuing to uphold the law.

I am concerned about the government's course of action and how it will permanently damage the idea of public servants and that the idea of 'serve and protect' will forget who they are supposed to be protecting.

I am concerned about the non-corporate businesses that are struggling after a pandemic shutdown, that is being looted by those who are taking advantage of the situation. I'm afraid that people will lose sight of the bigger message if the response is destruction.

I am concerned about what comes next and how we will make this movement stick.

I am concerned that in today's society that if you don't agree with my opinion people will immediately write me off, and although I am expressing these concerns that doesn't lessen the fact that Black Lives Do Matter.

Early in January, I knew that it was going to be a year for change, I just never realized how much.

#blacklivesmatter #reading #author #change